At least schmooze is better than booze

Said Drew Barrymore at the Elizabeth Glaser Picnit for Pediatric AIDS: “It’s just schmooze, schmooze, schmooze, but for all the right reasons.”

Clue number one: her affair with Donald Trump

Italian supermodel Carla Bruni: “All we do is walk down the runway and wear clothes, but we earn more than heart surgeons and AIDS researchers. More than people who will save lives. The world is going wrong, that’s for sure.”

Just read and be glad we don’t unleash another play on the word “Hugh”

Police and health officials told Hugh Grant to take an AIDS test after his tryst with LA prostitute (now insta-celeb) Divine Brown. Authorities claimed to be worried because Brown refused to be tested for HIV following previous arrests. But Brown claimed she had to force Grant to wear a condom.

But is he as good as Tom Hanks at playing a gay man with AIDS?

Singer-actor Keith Christopher joined Lee Mathis and Michael Kearns as a gay man with AIDS playing a gay man with AIDS on network television. The two-day appearance on NBC’s Another World was timed to coincide with TV’s Day of Compassion.

Every cloud does have a silver lining

Generation X revisited its childhood at The Brady Bunch Movie, but not without being reminded that the Brady womb-world never was. Reviews and spin-off television specials reminded fans that Brady Dad Robert Reed was gay and died of AIDS in 1992.

Heh-heh, heh-heh

Cindy Crawford paid $1,320 for a Beavis and Butt-head bikini at an AIDS auction.

AmFAR got blood, sweat and tears from a Stone

Sharon Stone lost her patented cool at an American Foundation for AIDS Research (AmFAR) benefit at the Cannes Film Festival. “People are losing stamina, people are losing strength,” she said between tears. “Every one of you has lost someone you love. This disease has taken the flowers of the earth.” She then emceed an AmFAR auction. Stone reached the limits of her volunteerism, however, when overzealous Michael Fuchs of HBO offered $12,000 for Naomi Campbell’s emerald sapphire navel ring on condition that Stone throw in her underpants. “Anybody who knows anything knows I don’t wear underpants,” snapped Stone.